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Find answers to parents’ most frequently asked questions about kids and smartphones. From handling social media to navigating conversations with your child or other parents, these articles offer practical, non-judgmental advice to help families make thoughtful, confident choices.

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Are smartphones really that bad for kids?

Isn’t social media the real issue, not smartphones?

Can’t I just give my child an old locked down smartphone?

How should I talk to my child about smartphones? Tips for parents at every stage.

How do I talk to other parents without sounding judgemental?

How should I navigate sleepovers and meet ups with kids who have smartphones?

What are the best child friendly phones?

Are smartphones really that bad for kids?

Smartphones make life easier-from paying for the bus to staying in touch. For many families, they feel essential. And not every child with a phone will face harm. So it's fair to ask: are smartphones really that bad? Let's look at the bigger picture.

An essential tool - for adults

Let's be honest: smartphones are incredible pieces of technology. They help us navigate the world, stay in touch, capture memories, and manage our lives. For most adults, they've become an essential tool-and in many ways, they make life easier.

So it's understandable that we want to pass that usefulness on to our children. A smartphone means they can call us if they need help. It helps them feel part of things. And it's what all their friends seem to have.

But the simple truth is smartphones are designed for adults-who have meetings to schedule, diaries to juggle, and groceries to order. Luckily for kids, they don't need any of that. And all this convenience comes with serious downsides. When we look at what's gained versus what's lost when we give a child a smartphone, delaying for a few more years might be the best parenting decision we ever make.

The opportunity cost to childhood

What's missing when children spend a lot of time on their smartphone? Face-to-face conversations. Messy outdoor games. Moments of boredom that spark creativity. The chance to develop confidence and resilience-without the filter of a screen.

We often treat smartphones like neutral tools. But they're not just phones-they're immersive, addictive environments designed to be hard to put down. And every hour they take up is an hour not spent doing something more enriching.

Changing how children see themselves

One of the most overlooked trade-offs is emotional development. Smartphones give children constant access to social media-and with it, a relentless stream of filtered images, curated lives, and addictive feedback loops.

These platforms push kids to measure their worth in likes, follows, and comparisons. They create new rules for social life and identity. And it's having a real impact. For girls especially, studies show links between social media use and rising rates of anxiety, depression, and body image issues.

This isn't just about what kids see. It's about how it makes them feel-about themselves, their friendships, and their place in the world.

Adolescent brains are most at risk

Teenage brains are still under construction-especially the parts responsible for impulse control, emotional regulation, and decision-making. And smartphones, with their infinite scroll, relentless notifications, and dopamine-driven design, are reshaping how young minds experience reward, attention, and connection.

Smartphones aren't inherently 'bad'. They're powerful, remarkable tools. But that's the point-they're powerful. And kids are the most vulnerable to their effects. Their brains aren't ready for the responsibility that comes with constant access to the online world. That's not a judgement of their maturity-it's just biology.

A lot that could go wrong

Sure, not every child with a smartphone will fall down a dark rabbit hole of harmful content or lose sleep over social media-but the risks are real, and growing.

We now have a growing body of research linking heavy smartphone use to poor sleep, reduced concentration, higher levels of anxiety, and lower overall wellbeing. These aren't just passing side effects-they're changes that can affect how children learn, interact, and develop in the long term.

Smartphones also come with intense social pressure-group chats, FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out), and the constant fear of being left out. And then there's the content itself. Kids can easily stumble across things they're just not developmentally ready for-from hardcore porn to pro-anorexia content to toxic ideologies. These devices are also designed to be addictive. Their business model depends on keeping kids scrolling, not teaching them balance or self-regulation.

Yes, smartphones can offer independence, connection, and reassurance. But there are safer ways to give kids those things-especially in the early years of adolescence. The question is: are the risks worth the reward? And rather than asking, “when is the right age for a phone?” perhaps we should ask, “What foundation do I want to build before I hand them this much power in their pocket?”

There is a middle ground

Delaying smartphones doesn't mean cutting kids off. Many families start with a simple phone-one that allows calls and texts but avoids apps, games, and internet access.

It's a smart first step. Kids stay connected, without being pulled into the digital world too soon. And it makes the transition to a full smartphone-when they're ready-far easier to manage.

Isn’t social media the real issue, not smartphones?

Smartphones are the gateway to the digital world, opening doors to social media, addictive algorithms, and harmful content. While social media gets much of the blame, it’s the smartphone that gives these platforms 24/7 access to our kids. Delaying smartphones helps protect your child’s mental health and development by giving them more time to grow at their own pace.

Smartphones: the gateway to it all

Social media is one of the most toxic parts of the online world. It's where kids fall into comparison traps, where their attention is hijacked, and where they can stumble across content that no child should have to see. But here's the thing: social media doesn't just float in the air. It needs a vehicle. And that vehicle-the one that gives these platforms 24/7 access to our children-is the smartphone.

Smartphones aren't neutral tools. They're portals to a digital ecosystem designed not with children in mind, but with profit. Once your child has their own smartphone, they're stepping into a world carefully engineered by companies whose primary aim is to harvest data, not support healthy development or protect childhood.

It’s not just social media

Smartphones don't just sit quietly in a drawer. They go everywhere-in pockets, backpacks, and bedrooms. They buzz with notifications. They're available 24/7. Even without social media apps, a smartphone means the entire internet-often unfiltered and unsupervised-is in a child's hands. That means:

The keys to a commercially-driven kingdom

Think of smartphones as keys to a commercially-driven kingdom. One where everything is built to keep your child inside-watching, scrolling, swiping. Their wellbeing is not the priority. Even without social media, these devices open the door to a digital world that's shaped by commercial algorithms and persuasive design.

The more time your child spends on their device, the more data is collected, the more ads they see, and the more money is made. When you delay smartphones, you delay the entire industry's ability to monetise your child's attention-and influence their development-before they're ready.

Cutting the problem off at the source

A lot of the debate around kids’ online safety understandably centres on social media platforms-and for good reason. We’ve seen the harm that social media can do to children’s mental health, self-esteem, and development. However, the regulation of social media platforms is a complicated and slow-moving process that could take years to yield meaningful results.

We don’t have the luxury of waiting for policymakers to catch up. Our kids are growing up now, and by the time regulation is in place, they could be well into their teenage years or beyond.

Fortunately, there’s an immediate step we can take to protect our kids: delaying smartphones. It’s one of the most straightforward and impactful ways to tackle the issue at its root-the device itself. That's why Smartphone Free Childhood exists.

It starts with the device

So yes-social media is a huge part of the problem. But if we're serious about helping kids grow up free from addictive algorithms, harmful content, and relentless digital pressure, we have to start with the thing that makes it all so accessible: the smartphone itself.

Delaying smartphones is one of the simplest, most powerful ways to support your child's mental health, attention, and wellbeing. You're not cutting them off. You're giving them more time-for play, for connection, and for growing up at their own pace.

Can’t I just give my child an old locked down smartphone?

You’ve got an old iPhone or Android sitting in a drawer, and it seems like a practical solution. It’s already paid for, you can lock it down with parental controls, and it gives your child a way to message you. So why not? Parental controls help, but they’re not a magic fix-and it's a slippery slope into a digital world that's hard to step back from.

The myth of the ‘safe’ locked down smartphone

You can toggle every parental control, set up restrictions, and even install extra monitoring apps, but the reality is that Apple and Google don't build their devices with children's safety in mind.

Even when a device knows it's being used by a child (based on their Apple ID or Gmail birthday), loopholes remain. There are endless workarounds-search terms that slip through, VPNs that evade filters, and ways to access apps through browsers.

And when your child turns 13, the current age of 'internet adulthood', tech companies including Apple, Google and Microsoft will remove many of your supervision rights and safety settings. Things like setting downtime, tracking via GPS, and blocking apps-because when your child turns 13, tech companies are legally allowed to remove safety settings. (You can turn them back on, but only if your child agrees to accept them.)

It's frustrating. Parents shouldn't have to be cybersecurity experts just to keep their kids safe. And yet, here we are, so let's figure out your options.

Parental controls: useful but not the ultimate solution

If you decide to give your child a smartphone, we definitely recommend using parental controls. They can provide protection and help set boundaries. But it's important to know that:

The slippery slope of ‘just one app’

Even when you fully lock down the device, there's another challenge: social pressure.

Once your child has a smartphone, they'll want the same apps as their friends. Whether it's WhatsApp, Snapchat, TikTok, or the latest trending game, they know that it's in your power to let them download it, if only they can persuade you. Holding fast in the face of a teenager lobbying for more is hard, and will require daily negotiations and a steadfast commitment to your values.

This is why many families find it simpler to hold the line and stick with a basic phone. That way, there's no option to download apps and no point in your child nagging you for TikTok. It makes life simpler, especially when others in your school community are doing the same. When everyone's in it together, the pressure eases, and kids don't get FOMO. That's why Smartphone Free Childhood exists.

What’s the alternative?

A smartphone isn't just a tool for messaging-it's a gateway to an entire digital world. And that world is designed to be addictive. These devices hijack kids' dopamine circuits, pulling them away from the real-life experiences, relationships, and activities that help them grow into happy, resilient adults.

Instead of a smartphone, consider a simple phone-one that allows calls and texts but doesn't come with the risks of constant connectivity. It removes the battles over apps, the stress of monitoring, and the worry of online exposure.

The good news is, there are more and more great options for simple phones coming to market. Check out this child-safe phone guide from Smartphone Free Childhood UK for the low-down on the best options out there: https://www.smartphonefreechildhood.org/alternatives

Think twice before giving your child your old smartphone

If you do choose to give your child a smartphone, parental controls can really help-but they're not a guarantee. Loopholes exist. Kids find workarounds. And even the most locked-down smartphone still opens the door to a digital world that's hard to control.

If you’re feeling unsure, you’re not alone. The truth is, the only way to be sure your child won’t stumble into something they’re not ready for is to hold off on smartphones for now.

There’s no shame in pausing. And here’s the hopeful bit: you’re not the only one thinking this way. More and more parents are choosing to wait-and every time one of us does, it gets that little bit easier for everyone else. Together, we’re building a new kind of normal-one that puts childhood first.

How should I talk to my child about smartphones? Tips for parents at every stage

Every family faces challenges when it comes to smartphones and social media-especially when other children may already have devices. Many parents want to wait, but don’t always feel confident about how to explain it to their child or how to handle pressure from peers.

To make this easier, here is a step-by-step Parent Guidance PDF. This resource is warm, practical, and designed to help you feel supported, not stressed.

It includes:

Download the Parent Guidance PDF

How do I talk to other parents about delaying smartphones without sounding judgmental?

Bringing up kids and smartphones isn’t always easy. Whether it’s at school pick-up, in group chats, or during playdates, it can feel sensitive-everyone’s doing things their own way. But it doesn’t have to be awkward. With empathy and openness, these chats can be a force for change. Here are some gentle ways to start the conversation.

Five principles for a positive conversation

  1. Talk, don't tell

    Ask questions. Share stories. Stay open. This isn't about convincing anyone or winning an argument-it's about understanding where each other is coming from.

  2. Remember we're on the same team

    Whether we give our kids smartphones at 9 or 14, we're all trying to do the best for our kids. Start from that place of mutual respect-and keep kids' wellbeing at the heart of it.

  3. Acknowledge the bind

    We've all been put in an impossible position by the tech companies. Say yes to a smartphone, and risk exposing your child to real harm. Say no, and risk cutting them off socially. No wonder this is such a tough topic.

  4. Avoid any judgement

    This isn't about good or bad parenting. The real issue is a lack of regulation-families have been left to figure it out alone, up against some of the most powerful companies on the planet. Be kind. Be human.

  5. Stories land, stats don’t

    Facts are useful-but stories are powerful. A parent sharing what they've seen in their child, or how they're struggling to manage screen time, can shift mindsets more than any data ever could.

Helpful talking points to share

These aren't soundbites for a debate-they're ideas you might gently bring up when the moment's right. Use what resonates, in your own words.

This isn’t about going backwards

Delaying smartphones isn't anti-tech, it's pro-childhood. It's about giving kids the space and time to learn the critical thinking, deep focus, and creative problem solving they'll need to thrive in the digital world of the future.

You don’t have to have it all figured out

You don't need to be an expert. You don't have to convince anyone. Just opening the conversation with kindness and confidence is enough.

Every time someone says, "I'm not sure about smartphones either", it makes space for others to say the same. And those small shifts? That's how change starts.

How should I navigate sleepovers and meet ups with kids who have smartphones?

Sleepovers and playdates should be about real-world connection, laughter, and fun-not worrying about what your child might see on someone else's smartphone. But this is a real concern, and it can feel awkward bringing it up. The good news? You can set boundaries without making it weird.

  1. Start with curiosity, not judgement

    Before a sleepover or playdate, have a chat with the host family. Something like: "We've been thinking a lot about kids and smartphones. It's so tricky, isn't it-what's your approach?" This opens up a conversation rather than a lecture. You might be surprised-many families share your concerns but haven't figured out how to talk about them yet.

  2. If you’re hosting, set expectations

    When hosting, set a 'phone-free playdates' expectation for all kids-not just your own. You could let the parent know beforehand with a simple, "I hope it's ok for you, but we prefer to do phone-free playdates: no smartphones or tablets. Yes, I'm that technophobe parent!"-keeps it lighthearted. Alternatively, ask the kids you're hosting to put their devices into your family tech drawer/box on arrival. Tell them you want them to get up to some fun, not just stare at screens. They can let you know if they need to make a phone call.

  3. If they’re hosting, don’t be afraid to set a boundary

    If your child is going to someone else's house, don't be afraid to let them know your approach before you arrive. It helps to have a simple, non-preachy way to explain. For example: "We're keeping her smartphone-free for now, so I'd prefer if she doesn't go on any devices with internet/YouTube etc whilst she's with you-I hope that's ok."

    Sometimes real-life parenting stories say everything that needs to be said, and help to avoid a lengthy explanation of your views on smartphones. For example, a mum in our community hosted her first ever sleepover for her 8-year-old son, and didn't realise his friend had packed an iPad in his bag. They woke up at 5am and watched two hours of violent porn before she realised what was going on. Her son was traumatised by what he'd seen and developed OCD and anxiety. No parent wants this to happen to their child, whatever their approach to devices, which makes it a levelling anecdote that you can all agree you want to avoid.

  4. Talk to your child ahead of time

    No matter what, kids will encounter smartphones at some point. Have ongoing conversations about what they might see and how to handle it. Teach them phrases like, "I don't want to watch that," or "Can we do something else?" so they feel equipped to walk away from anything that doesn't sit right with them.

  5. Give your child an exit strategy

    If they end up uncomfortable at a friend's house, make sure they know they can always call or text you (on a simple phone or someone else's phone) for a pick-up-no questions asked. Agree on a simple code phrase, something like, "Hey, did you find the missing shoe?" which can be a discreet way for them to get out of an uncomfortable situation.

  6. Find your allies

    The more families who set these boundaries, the easier it gets. If you know other families with similar views, chat with them. You might even suggest a "phone-free playdate" rotation so kids can hang out without screens being an issue.

  7. Focus on the positives

    This isn't about banning or restricting-it's about giving kids space to just be kids. Without the lure of toxic and addictive algorithms, they get to fully engage with each other, be creative, and make real-life memories. That's the goal, and it's something most parents (and kids) can get behind.

At the end of the day, you're not alone in this. The world of childhood is changing fast, and we're all figuring it out together. By approaching these conversations with warmth, understanding, and a little bit of humour, we can create spaces where kids can thrive-free from endless scrolling. And that's something worth standing up for.

How should I respond to pushback from other parents?

Many parents have questions or doubts about delaying smartphones and that’s completely understandable. From worries about peer pressure and social exclusion to safety, tech literacy, and staying connected. In this article, we unpack 10 of the most common concerns families have, and offer practical, reassuring responses to help you feel confident in your decision.

Q. Are you anti-tech?

A. No, we're pro-childhood.

This movement isn't anti-tech. We love technology when it's used at the right time, in the right way. We just believe that kids don't need constant access to a smartphone, and that they're better off developing tech skills in a controlled and productive way. It's about balance, not banning.

Q. Shouldn't this be a personal choice for each family?

A. Yes - but for those that want to delay, we need to coordinate

No one is forcing anyone to do anything. But many parents want to hold off on smartphones and feel pressured into giving in because 'everyone else has one'. The Parent Pact just makes it easier for families to delay together so that parents feel supported in their decision.

Q. I want my child to be tech literate, won't I be holding them back if they don't have a smartphone?

A. Tech literacy isn't achieved through smartphone use.

Being tech-savvy isn't about scrolling through TikTok. It's about knowing how to use technology productively. Kids can build digital skills through schoolwork, coding programs, and creative tools like music or video editing. The best way to prepare kids for the digital world is teaching them to think critically about technology, not just giving them unlimited access to it.

Q. Don't we just need to teach our kids to use these devices responsibly?

A. Education and access aren't the same thing.

We teach young people about safe sex and how to drive long before they actually do these things on their own. In the same way, we can help children understand technology without handing them a smartphone from an early age. Because the truth is, no matter how much we try to teach them, kids simply aren't wired to use smartphones 'responsibly'. Their brains are still developing, and let's be honest, even most adults struggle to resist. That's why instead of giving kids access to an entire digital world in their pocket, we recommend starting with a simple phone.

Q. How will I keep in touch with my child on their way to and from school?

A. Try a basic phone.

Every family wants to keep their child safe. But here's the thing: a basic phone (calls and texts only) does the job without exposing them to the risks of social media and the internet. Then there's the distraction factor: 1 in 5 secondary school students who use their phone while walking have been hit or had a near miss with a car, and the vast majority (84%) admit to looking at their phone near roads. A basic phone keeps things simple. And safe.

Q. If my kid doesn't have a smartphone, will they be socially isolated?

A. No, their friendships will stay rooted in real connection.

We know the peer pressure is real. But for children who have a simple phone, friendships stay rooted in real connection, rather than the constant competition of online status and likes. They can still keep in touch through calls and texts, but the meaningful moments happen face-to-face-leading to deeper, more genuine relationships.

We know it can feel hard for your child, which is why delaying as a group via the Parent Pact makes all the difference. If your child knows there are others in their class who are also getting a simple phone first, the pressure for a smartphone with all the apps is hugely reduced. Research shows that it takes 25% of a group to create a tipping point, where social norms start to shift. Together, we're creating a new norm-one that puts real connection first, for this generation and all those that follow.

Q. Can't we just use an old smartphone with parental controls?

A. Parental controls help, but they're not a magic fix.

That old iPhone in your drawer might seem like an easy solution-free, familiar, and lockable. But before you hand it over, consider the bigger picture. Smartphones are designed to capture attention at all costs, and once your child has one, it's tough to step back.

Even with every restriction in place, there are loopholes. A 2024 Parentkind survey said 47% of children with parental controls on their smartphone had bypassed them. Kids find workarounds and no setting can stop your child from endlessly lobbying you for "just one app." That's why many families find it simpler to skip smartphones altogether and start with a basic phone-one that does what kids actually need (calls and texts) without pulling them into an addictive digital world.

Q. I think my child may benefit from online communities that they feel better understand them than their friends in school (e.g., LGBTQ).

A. Support without 24/7 access.

Online communities can be a great source of connection, especially for kids who feel isolated at school. But that doesn't mean they need constant access via a smartphone. Parents can help kids engage safely by using shared family devices, moderated platforms, and scheduled online time to connect with these communities-without opening the door to all the risks that come with unrestricted smartphone use.

Q. Why does the Smartphone Free Childhood movement use social media like WhatsApp, Facebook and Instagram, isn't that hypocritical?

A. We're adults-and we have to fight fire with fire.

We get the irony, but the reality is that social media-when used with intention-can be a powerful tool for bringing people together and spreading important messages. Adults can (mostly!) decide how to use their time, and while we're not here to encourage more screen time, we also know that to reach people, we have to meet them where they are. There's a big difference between adults using social media to organise and campaign for something they believe in and kids being drawn into endless scrolling by addictive algorithms. Our goal isn't to ditch technology altogether-it's to help create a healthier balance, especially for kids who aren't yet equipped to navigate these platforms safely.

What if I’ve already got my child a smartphone, is it too late?

Given your child a smartphone already? You’re not alone - and it’s never too late to make a change. Here’s how to set boundaries, reset habits and support your child to build a healthier digital life.

Already handed over a smartphone? You’re not alone - and it’s not too late. Whether you’re setting boundaries, rethinking habits or even considering a full reset, small changes can make a big difference. Together, we can help children build a healthier relationship with their phones - no shame, no guilt, just support.

It’s not too late

We know many families feel like they’ve had no choice but to give their child a smartphone, because all their friends have them. If you’re one of the millions of parents in that boat, we’re with you.

Smartphone Free Childhood is all about bringing people together to have constructive conversations about this complex issue, and supporting parents and families everywhere to take small steps to make things better, wherever they are on this journey.

And the good news is, if your child’s already got a smartphone, it’s not too late to reset habits, rethink boundaries and help your child build a more intentional, balanced relationship with their device. Up until now, the pressure has been one-way: towards earlier and earlier smartphone use. But something’s shifting. Families are beginning to ask questions, push back, and realise that we do have a choice. It’s not about guilt or judgement - it’s about taking back some control.

Even if you’ve already handed over a smartphone, there’s still a lot you can do to help your child develop a healthier, more intentional relationship with it.

Take an interest

One of the best ways to support your child is simply by being curious. Show genuine interest in what they’re doing on their phone - not to spy, but to stay connected. When they know you’re open, engaged and not judging, it becomes much easier to keep the conversation going.

Have open conversations

Young people are often well aware of the issues. Many are aware they’re spending too long on their smartphones-and don’t feel great about it. Start with questions, not lectures:

These kinds of conversations help build awareness, trust, and reflection - without judgement.

Talk about the business model

It can be powerful to explain how social media works - especially for older kids:

When kids understand this, they’re more likely to push back. Nobody likes feeling manipulated.

Set clear, simple boundaries

It doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing. Even basic limits can go a long way:

Explain the reasoning - that it’s not about punishment, it’s about protecting their time, attention, and mental health.

Help them fill the gap

Rather than just limiting smartphone use, help your child fill that time with something better:

Lead by example

You don’t have to be perfect-but showing your own willingness to set limits helps a lot:

When they see you making changes too, it doesn’t feel like a double standard.

You can take the smartphone away

This sounds radical to some, and won’t work for everyone, but plenty of families have done it. Kids adapt; often faster than you think.

If your child is struggling, if the phone has become a source of constant conflict, or if you’re worried about the effect it's having on their psyche-it’s okay to change your mind. You’re allowed to say: "This isn’t working.""

The key is to stay calm, confident, and clear. Offer an alternative (like a basic phone), talk openly about the reasons, and hold your ground with love.

We’re in it together

There’s no perfect path through this. But change is possible-and you’re not alone. Whether you’re limiting smartphone time, having difficult conversations, or trying to undo what’s already in place, you’re part of a growing community of people working to reclaim childhood from the grip of Big Tech.

What are the best child-friendly phones?

Smartphone Free Childhood has put together a guide to the most child-friendly ‘non-smart’ phones: https://www.smartphonefreechildhood.org/alternatives